The Beast Within

Original Blog from MySpace, Thursday, August 2, 2007

Well, I'm gonna give this a shot.

First, a disclaimer. Writing isn't so new to me, but the "public" aspect of the blog is. It's my intention to keep this up on a regular basis. I'll probably fail at that, but we'll see. The one point I'm gonna make is that I plan on writing a lot about my faith, and that's gonna offend some of you. And I have to say, no apologies. My faith is important to me, and I really try to live it out on a daily basis. And I know my beliefs conflict with a lot of others, but so does just about everybody else. Conflict and disagreement is a part of life. But I do believe we can handle conflict in a dignified manner, so let's be civil about our disagreements.

Also, I really want to be positive and not negative, but that's not always possible. There is enough negative stuff and perceptions about my faith as it is. If I say something cynical, I'll try my best to back it up with something positive.

Okay, here goes….

I'm not a very good person. Really, I'm not. Some folks could care less about that statement , some of you, my friends, are saying, "Scott, you are a good person, you're one of the nicest guy's I know."

Well, thanks, but I'm really not. I'm not trying to be humble, or self-defacing, but I'm being very honest. I wear a lot of masks sometimes. Under these masks I bear a lot of grudges. Sometimes I deal with these, sometimes I don't. I can be a hypocrite. (I'm giving some of you adversaries of my faith plenty of ammunition, I know.) I cuss a lot in private. I leave the toilet seat up, and forget to change the paper out when all used up. (potty humor just made its entrance!) And I'm selfish. I try to make it look like I'm not, but I really am. So I guess that makes me conniving as well.

You see, I got this raging beast within that regularly rears its ugly head and wreaks havoc in my life and the folks around me. I guess my dad is my first victim. Truthfully, he puts up with a lot of crap. My friend Chris also has been the brunt of my selfishness. The folks I work with, well, I wear a lot of masks around them, but my thought life around them sucks. I'm judgmental. I don't pull my weight. I gossip. Speaking of being judgmental, the folks at my church are constantly on my critique list. In truth, I suck.

Does this bother me? Of course it does. I truly want to be a better person. I think most people do. Do I lose sleep over this ugly condition? Nope. Why not?

Because it's been dealt with. 2000 years ago, on the other side of the planet in the hotbed of the middle east. Someone settled the score. In the blogs ahead, I'll explain in detail who settled that score and what that score was. Some of you already know. In fact most of you know. Some of you know only part of the story. There's some of you who don't have a clue. I know, I've been there once. I think it's a good story, worth telling. I don't tell it enough. That's part of the ugly beast within.

But here's the kicker. I'm not the only peep alive who deals with the beast within. Not trying to be judgmental here, but take a good look in the mirror. Yes, you, too, are a card carrying member of the human race. Therefore you have this beast within as well. Have a seat, take a load off, and come to terms with it. You know that beast real well. It spoke to you today, and you spoke back. Ya'll had a real long conversation in the period of about a split second, and, BOOM, the deed was done. You blew it. I don't know what it was, but you do. So does SOMEONE else.

Now, we all hate it when we're the brunt of someone else's beast within. Usually, that wakes up our own beast, and then, it's an all out beast war. Take a look at the problems in our world today, and I guarantee it, there is a trail leading to a lair of beasts. There's a bulletin that's been posted on the internet that is only partially right: it say's that the cause of all these problems in today's society is cliques. (?) Well, it's not the cliques, but them folk in the cliques. If we followed all the "one anothers" in the Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth, then cliques wouldn't be a problem.

So, where's the positive I promised? Well, I already mentioned part of it. It was dealt with, 2000 years ago. I'll talk more about that in detail in an upcoming blog, hold me to it. Here's a sneak peak.

SOMEONE loves you. In fact, He likes you, a lot really, even when that beast gets the best of you. And there's not a thing you can do to earn His hatred. He doesn't necessarily like that beast within, in fact, He wants to deal with that on a long term basis. But His love for you is 100% unconditional, even if His representatives aren't very good in expressing that unconditional love. And for that, I apologize, for I am one of those representatives. And I often fail at showing people of all types His unconditional love. Please forgive me if I have ever failed to love you like my Father loves you. There are some, in fact many of His representatives who do a very good job at loving others like our Father loves. I want to be more like them. That's what I strive for.

So, until next week, just remember that you have a ugly, mean "friend" that lives within you that sometimes gets the better of you and can make a mess of your life. There is good news, I promise, we'll get to it. My Father wants to deal with your beast once and for all…..

34 So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. 35 Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples." John 13:34-35 NLT

12 This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. 13 There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends. John 15:12-13 NLT